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my life is still boring.
i want to buy a house.
david was home, and now he is gone.
it makes me sad.
apparently we're going to germany.
i'm actually pretty excited.

i've got so many plans/ideas that i don't even know where to begin. i just need to stop shopping and start saving. and since i finally did my taxes, there's something to look forward to in the near future. straight into savings. not gonna touch it... well maybe to finish my arm. but then, straight to savings.



is it summer yet?

even more realizations.

tonight i made dinner for my family, since my step dad had to work. so i bought a whole chicken already cut into pieces because the thought of cutting a chicken disgusted me.

well i was right about something.

seeing the tiny ribs on the thing almost made me throw up. i couldn't touch it and put it in the pan, but oddly enough i still ate it. in probably 20 years of eating chicken, today was the first time i felt i almost couldn't, for a real reason. seeing the little bones, and the skin that could still have tiny pieces of fur on it... and even thinking about it now makes me feel sick. strange things are happening.




so anyway, its almost my birthday. a friend of mine, from since i was a baby, texted me to see what i was doing (party, bar, etc.) and my response was "getting tattooed hopefully, and my dad is taking me bowling." i'm gonna be 22, and i'm going bowling with my dad for my birthday. and i'm pretty excited.




i'm getting old. my life is getting sad, but really i'm kind of happier.

wasting words on lower cases and capitals

i'm starting to realize how boring and dull my life actually is.

wake up.
shower.
work.
lunch.
work.
home.
dinner.
tv/internet.
sleep.
repeat.

tonight i was watching Planet Earth, and it reminded me how i want nothing more than to travel the world and discover new things. like caves and animals that we don't know about. or just learn about new cultures and tribes of people we don't know about. it just all seems so appealing, doing things that might actually matter to someone.

my life really blows right now. well at least the working aspect of it. the worst part is that i don't have the right to tell someone when they're being a bitch.. cause i'll lose my job.
the one that pays for my life.

i'm tired of busting my ass for nothing.
a paycheck that barely covers my car payment and insurance.



so, on a side note.. now that i got my garmin for christmas i reallllly wanna drive cross-country.
it's something i've been wanting to do for quite a while, and i want it to happen asap. well, more like summer/fall 2009. and i wanna go all out, like camping in a tent, and visiting the most bizarre and random places i can find. no directions, just a navigational system. and no set plans. just as long as i'm back home when i plan to be!




ultimately, i think i'm just looking for more life experiences.
suburbia and retail just aren't cutting it.

UGH

gonna miss this...

New York, New York

Next Thursday I'll be in a car heading to New York, and I'm unbelievably excited. I can't believe it's been almost two months since Dave's been gone, not considering that week he was home, but still time has gone by kind of fast. It weirds me out that I'm actually getting used to the fact that he's not around, I don't like that. I'm so excited to see him, but at the same time, it's going to be the hardest goodbye of my life. I mean our last day together there will be one of his last days in this country. That fucking sucks. And as much as I enjoy being a home-body, I'll most definitely being hanging out more. I'll need it.


Ugh.

I burned my tongue today eating easy mac, it still hurts pretty bad.

Apparently I can no longer fall asleep before 1am. Then I wake up about 309852093 times during the night for various reasons. My life rules right now.

Thank god I have to be at work at 2:30 in the afternoon tomorrow.

i just realized

i need to find the nail polish i had on in my picture on here.

i feel like painting my nails.

this

sucks.



where are you thursday...?