fuck

so many things right now.



except this bath i'm about to enjoy with the last bit of this bottle of wine my mom bought me, cause she actually cares.

its almost christmas, which means i'm almost 21.
which also means i'm about to buy a sweet new car.




but right now, i don't even care.

for the first time in my life

i bought lipstick, and i like it.







i love feeling like a girl :)

lyk o my god!

if you want to look like you just fell out of a j.crew catalog, go to fucking j.crew and buy pants there. i don't want to hear you shouting at your "little" across my fucking store wondering if the pants you tried on were "j.crew enough," and the ones that aren't.. you're like so not getting those!



i hate people like you.

thank god.

i'm proud to say i come from the east end, i'll be 21 years old in two months, and i've never been pregnant.

my life on the D-List

having the weekend off has been amazing, i just wish i had real friends to spend it with.


today, i got some frames so i could finally hang up some stuff in my room, and i finally started putting my room back together. and i've come to the conclusion that i have way too much shit and nowhere to put it. in the trash it goes. which is fine i guess.

now its just about midnight and i'm too lazy/tired to figure out where i want my tv, so no SNL for tonight. and i'm bored. great.




maybe tomorrow i'll do something fun, besides sleeping in.

miami ink

has turned into a show about girls in bikinis and ami always yelling at people!



so over it

love and love and happy afternoons.

I wish never to wake up from this dream I’m in right now.
Here I am watching clouds from your bedroom window,
as we’re laying here.
And I wake up today, still smiling in the air.
Wish dreams could be so great.

I think today I’ll try and kiss you on your cheek.
I hope you’ll let me go.
I know you’re the one.
Its all I want to hear you say your mine.

Talk about and take you there you will see the one true thing.
Places that you’ve never been, places that your gonna be.
I will be the one person to open your eyes.

In love with me…

things i do understand and want!

this is all i got for now...

things i don't understand..

and there's probably more to come later

yea yea.

It really bugs me that you don't realize when you do certain things that you do.

Today was a good day, not much happened, but it was a good day. It made me realize how I really wouldn't mind spending everyday the same way as today, with obvious differences here and there, but it's true. And then for some reason I always find something to make me not think that. Like something happens, that makes me feel like I'm not as important to you as other people.

Don't get me wrong, I hear everything you say, and I believe it.
But for now they're just words.

There's so many things you do, without thinking, that you shouldn't. Thanks for getting rid of something I've been talking about for what, a year now..? And thanks for doing it because you probably didn't want to hear me "nag" about it anymore. I forgot that that's all I do sometimes.

I guess I just wish you took my feelings into consideration more when you did things. And not after the fact, but before. Cause that's what good boyfriends do, specially after a year and a half. And for you to want the things you want in life, you should know that by now.

5-10

I really hate working the same hours every day of my fucking life. I always get home late, but end up watching something on tv and eating dinner before I go to bed. Which causes me to wake up kind of late. Then I just sit around the house until it's time for me to get ready to go to work, and it makes me feel like a whole day was wasted. A perfectly good day, gone. So fuck that.

Also, I would like more than one day in a row off.










Word.

$$$

I NEED SOME!

guernica

It really bugs me how many times a day I get asked "what does your tattoo say?" If I wanted everyone and their mom to read it clearly I would've chosen a bigger font and a more noticable location. I mean I realize when I wear short sleeves you can see it, but please don't pick up my arm for me so you can read it. And once people read it they get this weird look on their faces, and it's almost like they feel sorry for me. The best part of what has happened was the part I must have missed. No, I wasn't drunk when I got it. No, I don't hate my life. Yes, it does have a deeper meaning to me, but that's why it's on MY body not yours.

The song is about death, and not being able to stop it, but it's somehow supposed to be okay.

When I was little my grandpa died, and it was the hardest thing I had ever been through. He was like my best friend and his death was the first one I ever dealt with. He was a heavy smoker and died from lung cancer. And when I first heard that song and listened to what he was saying, I felt that all over again. I knew what he was going through, and I felt like he was able to put into words exactly how I felt. It was comforting.

This lady that asked to read my arm tonight said to me, "the best is yet to come" and something about there being better days. But it's not life that I'm worried about, I've just missed the best part about death.

thanks.

I guess I'm the "ungrateful bitch" you're referring too, which is cool and all except that you wouldn't tell me to my face. Oh, and we date.
Now you know how I've felt for the past few weeks, kind of like I didn't even matter.


Furthermore, my life lately has seemed so off-balance. I feel like I'm always working, which isn't even exactly true. But when I'm not working, I'm at home sleeping, or eating real food, or hanging out with my sister. It just sucks when I don't really see my friends anymore, or atleast people I consider to be friends (touchy subject).
I just wanna hang out more!

I guess that's all for now, I need to get ready for work...